Wrong and Alone

I have observed that the most memorable moments of the past 29 years of my life seem to have one thing in common - just seconds right before those moments, I had harbored a heightened sense of guarded optimism. And then, in the seconds that immediately followed those moments, in place of guarded optimism, a flood of gratitude, among many other possible states-of-being.

The most rewarding moments for me have always involved being part of teams. The ones I am most grateful for are the those that come with opportunities for me to have a profound influence on the culture of those teams. To show my gratitude for such opportunities, I always put a premium on doing my part to make everyone in the team as comfortable as possible, and to make the work of the team as fun as possible. But I am realistic enough to accept that, whether or not people on the team can become comfortable or have fun, it will never be entirely up to me.

Two very recent incidents both at work and outside work prompted some thoughts about the value of being wrong and of being alone. This morning I ended up googling the top 5 worst moments in a person's life and found this article to be the most relevant and timely. Basically, it says that according to a psychotherapist, the top 3 fears holding people back in life, in exact order are: change, loneliness (or being alone) and failure (or being wrong).

Just less than a year ago, I would've completely agreed with the article.    I still do, at least to some extent.  Except that I found that these very same 3 have somehow come to represent the very best moments of these recent months.  

I find that whenever we are forced into isolation because we have been embarrassingly mistaken about something, we are actually being given the opportunity to be wrong all on our own.  And should we decide to buy ourselves some time, space and even a bit of energy by temporarily embracing this solitude, instead of publicly insisting we are right when we are clearly not, we would actually create for ourselves future situations where we could be right at the exact same moment when others are also right.  I find that these situations are ideal for people to become most comfortable, to have the most fun, and to hold the highest potential for them to become part of what genuinely helps move everyone forward.